Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
