from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
