the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
