covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
