What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
