Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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