Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
