i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
No subtext here. People are naked.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
