i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
