The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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