what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
The air was thick with penises
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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