we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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