i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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