just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
