He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just threw up on my dentist
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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