I am puke
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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