i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
