i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
