I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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