Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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