Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I wish there were birth control emojis
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
