just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
