the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
