just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
