You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
