I can't breathe out the right side of my face
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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