I think scott just propositioned me for sex
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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