You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
