you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
it glows. i had to have it.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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