I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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