have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
