The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
