I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
