remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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