Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
false alarm, still single
Randomize
