she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
