Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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