I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Just puked most of my soul out..
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
