The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
