3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
