Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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