You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
