Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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