I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
