so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
