Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
