I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
