I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
