does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Randomize
