Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
