At least make sure they are 18
Why
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
