Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
