Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
