dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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